I'm not ready ...

I'm so not ready to proceed to the next stage yet. I know that it's time to make some progress to the next level, but I'll get all stressed up and nervous when I think about it. I did plan and think about it, but it's for the future... perhaps few years down the road? Just not now yet ... J been telling me he is doing the house hunting, r**g researching ... Wow .. I do not know how immediate it is, but it's totally freaking me out every time he mentions it.

Honestly, I'm just gonna be 26 soon... 26!! I still have a lot of things that I wanted to do...without so much commitment attached... Probably getting married is not a big thing, but to start a family? I don't think I'm ready for it... definitely not now, not next year ...

Honestly, honestly, I still have some things that I really wanted to do, but I do not have financial aid to fulfill it yet. And that is sad ... Getting a degree in Software Development isn't my first choice. All these years, I've been dying to take Psychology studies... Well, looking at the course fee @ UK isn't cheap ... well part of me wanted to further my studies, and part of me just wanted to change environment... I would prefer not to stay in the same environment too long. It gets boring overtime -- too routine --. Not my style.

I really did enjoy my year when I spent my Uni time in Aussie, and another 'escaping year' @ Japan ... and now I've been back to Boleh-land for almost 3 years... I started to get bored now. Provided I've been too stucked up into my working life which consumes most of my 'me' time... and I can tell that I'm not better than a running machine ... or say, an obedient conveyer belt?? And I really really need a change... I even planned to apply for a job @ Denmark.. I really hoped it will work out, but then, they have taken down the programme due to the economy crisis... Sigh ... there goes my hope ... (T_T) ... imagine Denmark ... sigh ...

So now, I'm back to zero... waking up everyday, going to work, back from work and sleep. Life is just too routine and boring. I hate it ... So I guess, I will be sulking for the next few months till I found any new plans... hope it will work next time ... sigh ...

I miss Edward C ... I need time ...

Never wanted to stop

And so I continue to read and read and read. I woke up earlier so I can read few pages before I leave home. After working hours, I’ll just grab some food, a quick one, and continue my journey with Edward Cullen .. The character I fell deeply in love with. I wonder if I fell in love Edward Cullen in the book or Edward Cullen in the movie… But I can say I really love Edward Cullen in the movie, but was totally dazzled by the book version … heehee…

Well, I kept reading till 3AM in the morning till I couldn’t open my eye… huh … It’s because Edward was gone in New Moon’s … was so sad till I have to read faster n faster till Edward appear again ..

Honestly, once I have start reading, I couldn’t stop … I took a total of 5 days to complete 3 books. 3 thick books… After I finished the last one, well, I can tell that I went into ‘depression mode’ because there is no more Edward … =`(

And I ended up going back to Times Bookshop to buy the first book. And was so happy that I can start reading the first book. I realize that the book is much better than the movie … glad that I bought the first book. Now I have the entire Twilight Saga collection …

And what else do I want? I want the Twilight Blue Ray collection set … was convincing J to buy me the set … i can tell that the set isn't cheap ... heehee… Well, I have to wait till end of May before I can see my collection ... it's only be released on 5 May .. I guess it will take few weeks to arrive Boleh-land .. :S


Here is my favorite quote from Edward:
“.. and so the lion fell in love with the lamb” …

I don't remember when ...

do you remember when was the last time you ever read a newspaper? i mean reading and flipping a real newspaper? Why I ask ?

Because I do not remember when was the last time i read one !!!

God help me....

I remember a friend of mine saying, "God have wonderful plan ahead for us so do not worry what you have been through now" ... really? Joseph ... preach me preach me .... man, i miss chatting with you ....

Pills free-at last

Was pretty worried these few days. Went for my final check up today. Sigh, I have 2 worries. First, wondering what if I'm still having TB, because I've been coughing again lately. Second, the expensive CT Scan which cause RM 700++... There goes my money.... (*^*) ....

Anyway, I went there quite early and have to go thru the needle insertion procedure again. But this time is less painful thou. Well, the most important thing is, DOC said I'm OKAY!!! Hurraaaayy..... No more pills every morning. WeeeWeee....


Psst:- my weight increased again... for the past 5 months, I've been getting heavier and heavier!

Need help.....

Life lesson

I found an article which helps me a lot in dealing with my current situation! It called, "How to Cope with the Jerk at Work". If i found this 1 week earlier, I wont be so depressed and hurtful.

"For those of us with a sensitive streak, this type of behavior can be hurtful too. What did you do to her anyway? Why won't she give you a fair shot? As natural as it is to fixate on the situation, if it's not affecting your daily working life or your career path, refuse to take it personally and go about your business. Focus on your reasons for being at work and save your energy for the people in the office who deserve it. " source from Yahoo! Health

I have to admit, im a super sensitive streak! I'll take note on each of the tiny little things that people do sometimes... Well, i guess i need to keep reminding myself, the reason why i wanted to work here. There are things for me to learned & gained from here.

心の痛み、誰にもわらない ～～～

Im so depress ... my heart fills with anger, anger、 anger ... These few weeks are just as bitter as bitter gourd ... huhuhuhuu T___T''　I dont know how much longer i have to bear with all this nonsense. I've tried to ignore, to let it down, to sweep it aside... but the endless bullets keep shooting my patience!! every day i ended up with a broken heart and with more anger... I know myself very well. I cant deal with all these politics, one day i will explode and break down. People keep saying, "It will go better" "Just a few more weeks" "Just one more month" ARGGH.... Help.... im not a very forgiving type of person... if someone treated me badly, i will remember it for the rest of my life!!! I hated it when people telling lies... giving excuses just to cover their ass from burning n pushing the fault to others. I always believe, if we treat ppl well, there is a return... i always tell myself to treat ppl well, so they will treat us well too... but, it's never the case!! never!!!

心弱いの人間は上達出来ない・・・だから、自分の心を強くして欲しい。。。高い壁をぶつけても、まけない！！どうやってひどい事にされても負けないんだ！自分を強くなれると努力するんだ！あんな最低な人間になりたくない！！もう、あんな人間とはかかわりたくないんだ。。。顔までも見たくないほど嫌いんだ！！

Making excuses ~

I wonder if it is a nature for people to run away from mistakes, run away from admitting they did something not rightful? In the other side, people will always boast how well they did ... I wonder if it is a nature for people to make excuses to cover up their ass in the sake of doesnt want to admit that they did wrongly. Why it has to be in this way? Well, never admitting mistakes is one thing, the most funny thing is, people who make excuses and try to push the responsibilities to another person without feeling guilty... this is indeed a very very high tactic .. haha ... I wonder if this is about how we being brought up since a child....

Confirmation Letter arrived ~~~

Yeah Yeah ... Confirmation letter arrived at last .... get a bit of increasement ... it's better than not getting any from the previous company ... this job really consume a lot of brain juices ... i wonder what kind of supplement i need to take to replenish my almost dried brain juice

-(*_*)-

It's a good experience working here ....
I read a news from yahoo.com where they are now voting for the New 7 Wonders of the world @ www.new7wonders.com !! Quick Quick !! vote now... the result will be announced tomorrow <07.07.07> what a great day to make an announcement... LOL.......


I've found a nice flash animated song ------- Fairy Tales -------

Useless Menu

One thing that i hated the most:- Restaurant that do not update their menus! What is the use for showing the foods that they dont sell anymore?? I felt that im being cheated to walk into the restaurant!! It is so piss off when i make my order. "Can I have one of this ?" "Opps, we don't have that now" "Then can I have this then?" "Sorry it has been discontinued" "Then how about this?" "We don't have that too" "ERRGGH, then what do you HAVE???" (*__*)P Gosh.... can you imagine that?? Please dont show what you dont have !!! Maybe re-print menus gonna cost a lot, how about sticking a note @ the side saying you don't have that food anymore?

Confusing

It's time for my confirmation I guess... I did well enough? Am I fit to be in this line? Questions poping out and im doubting my abilities. Marketing job seems so tempting to me, and would like to have a try! I dont really know what I want, all i want is to test out the job to see wheater im fit into it or not... (*_*)'' Honestly speaking, im not really into sales job.. getting new prospect is so hard and i feel so demotivated... the reason im still hanging with this job is the SALARY and the COMMISSION... everything falls back to $$$ .. Do i really need to read up all the self-improvement books that are available in the bookstore? Well, i do see ppl enjoying reading it... well, book really isnt my style!! I really need directions.... Im so lost again (@_@)
Working isnt fun to me at all!! Weekdays, Mon to Fri is so stressfull for me!! I really need to digg out what my interests are and make use of it. (^.^)v
Well, back to my shopping spree, i saw nice working pants at TOPSHOP ... it's 160 bucks! should i get it this month??

Sales again ~~

sales is coming one after another ... (*_^)v
watson RM 1 sales .. weeeee ... it's time to stock up all the facial mask supply !! i just can't resist to buy buy buy ... when u think of the second item that u buy is just RM 1 !!! I have to remind myself to do facial at least 2 days once ... let's see if there is any improvements .. hehe ..
Anyway, i just bougth the sketch book and it's time to stick all my profiles in... 2 years down the road, take it out again and see weather it matches ... talking about profiles ... management is doing confirmation appraisal... sobsob... dont think i did good also .. sure no increasement X__x'' by the way, should i post pictures here?? hmmm... means have to take photo everyday?? (*__*)
It's time to get active in the Nescafe Kickstart forum !! must remember to collect the bonus point everyday ..hehe .. my aim: to bid for the shopping voucher !!